1 00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:11,910 my name is ronald chapman i 2 00:00:15,669 --> 00:00:13,840 depend upon which business we're talking 3 00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:15,679 about i'm either the ceo of one of my 4 00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:17,359 two businesses or 5 00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:20,480 i'm a advisor in one of the roles that i 6 00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:21,520 play 7 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:22,480 i've got 8 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:25,119 multiple businesses that i'm 9 00:00:31,429 --> 00:00:27,680 holding down or responsible for one of 10 00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:31,439 them is as a strategic advisor 11 00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:33,840 facilitator consultant in the field of 12 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:35,680 public health that's a business called 13 00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:37,840 leading public health 14 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:39,520 i have another business which is a 15 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:41,760 little more visionary and puts me into a 16 00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:43,600 lot of advisory work 17 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:45,760 more broadly outside public health it's 18 00:00:50,869 --> 00:00:48,559 called magnetic north llc 19 00:00:53,189 --> 00:00:50,879 and then the work i've been doing that 20 00:00:56,229 --> 00:00:53,199 brings me to this conference is actually 21 00:00:58,389 --> 00:00:56,239 a body of work known as seeing true 22 00:01:01,029 --> 00:00:58,399 where i essentially play 23 00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:01,039 some some strange mix between 24 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:03,600 philosopher and advisor and uh 25 00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:05,600 occasionally i get to get accused of 26 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:07,840 being a transformationalist because of 27 00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:09,520 the nature of the work i do and so that 28 00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:11,840 one's a little harder to put a put a job 29 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:14,159 title to i mean the honest truth is that 30 00:01:19,109 --> 00:01:16,560 what happens is i show up and i do what 31 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:19,119 work is needed with people 32 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:20,799 and they then 33 00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:22,560 give me titles that 34 00:01:26,630 --> 00:01:23,920 that sort of describe what their 35 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:26,640 experience of me was well in order to 36 00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:29,680 understand how i got into this present 37 00:01:33,109 --> 00:01:31,600 body of work i really got to go back a 38 00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:33,119 little bit in time 39 00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:34,960 when i got out of college i ended up in 40 00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:37,360 the private sector doing a lot of what 41 00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:40,000 amounted to leadership and strategy work 42 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:42,799 and it was an outstanding foundation 43 00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:44,720 it ran its course 44 00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:46,560 after about 10 years and it was obvious 45 00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:49,360 it was time to go do something else 46 00:01:53,429 --> 00:01:51,360 the best idea i had at the time was to 47 00:01:55,429 --> 00:01:53,439 go get a master's degree in social work 48 00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:55,439 and so for all intents and purposes i 49 00:02:00,069 --> 00:01:57,759 consider myself a social worker 50 00:02:03,109 --> 00:02:00,079 even though my original background was 51 00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:03,119 was leadership and finance and strategy 52 00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:04,640 i spent about five years in the 53 00:02:10,389 --> 00:02:07,119 not-for-profit sector learning that 54 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:10,399 world and then in 95 55 00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:13,360 i decided to start my own business 56 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:15,040 by basically doing what many of us do i 57 00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:16,560 put together a business card that said i 58 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:18,239 wanted to do strategy work some 59 00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:20,080 leadership consulting 60 00:02:23,589 --> 00:02:22,000 facilitation anything that might help 61 00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:23,599 organizations 62 00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:25,520 what has been really interesting about 63 00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:27,120 that is and 64 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:29,040 there's a beauty about this that you 65 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:31,040 know you create a plan and then you 66 00:02:34,949 --> 00:02:33,120 start adapting as soon as your plan is 67 00:02:36,869 --> 00:02:34,959 done because the world is 68 00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:36,879 constantly dynamic 69 00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:39,680 so what's happened is that platform has 70 00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:42,000 become increasingly 71 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:44,400 one for me to 72 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:46,640 show up in the world and do the things 73 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:48,720 that clients need 74 00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:50,480 the truth of the matter is many of the 75 00:02:54,229 --> 00:02:52,239 skills i have now 76 00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:54,239 actually weren't developed because i 77 00:02:58,150 --> 00:02:56,000 wanted them they were developed because 78 00:02:59,430 --> 00:02:58,160 a client asked me if i would use them 79 00:03:02,149 --> 00:02:59,440 with them 80 00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:02,159 and so my portfolio has actually been i 81 00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:03,200 mean if we were talking about this from 82 00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:05,519 a business point of view my portfolio 83 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:08,159 has been built by what marketing has 84 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:10,000 told me i needed 85 00:03:14,869 --> 00:03:13,040 uh and in some strange way it all adds 86 00:03:16,869 --> 00:03:14,879 up to being a guy who can work in 87 00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:16,879 difficult spaces doing whatever work a 88 00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:18,800 client might need 89 00:03:22,229 --> 00:03:20,560 well interestingly enough when i started 90 00:03:24,309 --> 00:03:22,239 working with ozark mountain publishing 91 00:03:28,149 --> 00:03:24,319 with my second book a book called seeing 92 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:28,159 true 90 contemplations in 90 days 93 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:29,680 they were one of those who said well we 94 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:31,680 need to be able to explain to people who 95 00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:33,120 you are 96 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:35,120 so we came up with a transformational 97 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:36,480 philosopher which i think is really 98 00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:37,920 pretty entertaining 99 00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:39,280 which basically means i have a lot of 100 00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:40,560 ideas 101 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:42,720 most of them are all focused on this 102 00:03:46,149 --> 00:03:44,480 idea of seeing true 103 00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:46,159 and the way i talk about seeing true i 104 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:48,400 actually have to go back to the greeks 105 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:51,840 who had a word called metanoia 106 00:03:56,390 --> 00:03:53,840 that word literally translates as a 107 00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:56,400 profound change of heart 108 00:04:00,390 --> 00:03:58,560 and what we know about ourselves in the 109 00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:00,400 world if you pay much attention to 110 00:04:04,149 --> 00:04:01,680 people 111 00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:04,159 is that when you have a radical change 112 00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:06,480 of direction when someone's life is 113 00:04:10,869 --> 00:04:08,159 transformed 114 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:10,879 it's always coincident with this 115 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:14,080 profound alteration in the way we see or 116 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:15,040 view 117 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:18,400 ourselves our world our role in it 118 00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:20,400 and so this whole idea that if you can 119 00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:23,120 get people to see things a certain way a 120 00:04:27,189 --> 00:04:25,600 way that's unique to each of us 121 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:27,199 you have the opportunity that you can 122 00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:30,400 snap into an entirely new vantage point 123 00:04:36,469 --> 00:04:33,680 and that just plain changes lives 124 00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:36,479 that can run so a real simple example of 125 00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:39,280 this is the classic medical story where 126 00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:41,600 you got typically a guy typically middle 127 00:04:47,749 --> 00:04:45,600 aged he suddenly has terrible heart or 128 00:04:49,909 --> 00:04:47,759 some other form of challenges 129 00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:49,919 and literally overnight 130 00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:51,600 behaviors change 131 00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:53,680 under the presence of life-threatening 132 00:04:57,590 --> 00:04:55,120 feedback 133 00:04:59,430 --> 00:04:57,600 literally lives changed course overnight 134 00:05:01,030 --> 00:04:59,440 you know my i saw this for the first 135 00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:01,040 time with an older guy who was in his 136 00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:03,600 70s and and literally he went overnight 137 00:05:07,029 --> 00:05:06,000 from no exercise to walking six miles a 138 00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:07,039 day 139 00:05:11,029 --> 00:05:08,880 he cut all the terrible food out of his 140 00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:11,039 diet even though for decades people had 141 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:13,280 been telling him you ought to do that 142 00:05:18,629 --> 00:05:16,160 he stopped drinking all alcohol just 143 00:05:21,749 --> 00:05:18,639 this whole range of incredible 144 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:21,759 behavioral changes literally overnight 145 00:05:26,230 --> 00:05:24,160 and last time i talked to him he's still 146 00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:26,240 doing all those things 15 years later 147 00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:28,800 he's approaching 90 years old and so you 148 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:30,320 have to ask yourself 149 00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:32,080 why does that kind of transformation 150 00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:33,360 take place 151 00:05:36,950 --> 00:05:35,440 and that's the space that i like to play 152 00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:36,960 in whether it's an individual whether 153 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:39,759 it's professional personal is helping 154 00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:42,880 people get a good look seeing true 155 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:44,800 because i know that if they ever get a 156 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:46,400 good look at it 157 00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:48,560 it can change everything in a way that 158 00:05:53,110 --> 00:05:50,880 is very very beneficial to them 159 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:53,120 and so i'll just i'll share the funny 160 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:55,600 part which is i love it it's like man 161 00:05:59,510 --> 00:05:57,680 when you see these magical things happen 162 00:06:02,390 --> 00:05:59,520 with people 163 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:02,400 i just can't i can't stay away from it 164 00:06:06,629 --> 00:06:04,080 it's what drives me 165 00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:06,639 and i'll add one more thing to that 166 00:06:11,029 --> 00:06:09,120 if you talk to my one of my professional 167 00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:11,039 range of clients some of this 168 00:06:14,070 --> 00:06:13,039 information would come a surprise to 169 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:14,080 them 170 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:16,160 they wouldn't understand seeing true 171 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:18,080 language or any of that because what 172 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:19,680 i've learned how to do is to take the 173 00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:22,720 principles and apply them in in setting 174 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:24,240 i use a kind of language for 175 00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:26,880 corporations i use a kind of language 176 00:06:30,309 --> 00:06:28,479 for public health 177 00:06:32,469 --> 00:06:30,319 in a spiritual setting such as this 178 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:32,479 conference we're at i use a different 179 00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:34,560 kind of language because what i've 180 00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:37,600 learned is the principles hold up 181 00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:40,639 my job is to translate them into a means 182 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:42,319 by which you can have access to them 183 00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:43,680 without having to teach you a whole new 184 00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:45,600 vocabulary so that's what i spend a lot 185 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:48,560 of time doing is translating for people 186 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:51,360 so i'm often asked to provide an example 187 00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:53,600 of how i use language differently so i'm 188 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:55,440 going to actually use across a continuum 189 00:06:58,870 --> 00:06:56,560 here 190 00:07:01,909 --> 00:06:58,880 oftentimes in the corporate world i'm 191 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:01,919 asked to do what is called root cause 192 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:03,199 analysis 193 00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:04,880 that's corporate language or public 194 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:06,240 sector language 195 00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:08,560 and at its heart is this idea that we 196 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:10,800 want to get down to the root cause of 197 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:11,919 something 198 00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:13,360 people who work in organizational 199 00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:15,440 structures they totally get that it's 200 00:07:20,469 --> 00:07:17,919 like really easy for them to digest 201 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:20,479 if i take that same principle and i 202 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:22,720 bring it over to say professional or 203 00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:24,360 personal development so this is a 204 00:07:27,670 --> 00:07:26,479 non-spiritual professional or personal 205 00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:27,680 development 206 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:30,400 we might talk to people about what their 207 00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:32,800 strengths are 208 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:35,360 what their weaknesses are and i often 209 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:39,199 times talk about the weak link metaphor 210 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:41,120 which is essentially that you as a 211 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:42,160 person 212 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:46,160 are as strong as the weakest link 213 00:07:49,909 --> 00:07:48,240 in the chain of you 214 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:49,919 and immediately what people will get 215 00:07:52,710 --> 00:07:51,440 what they'll be able to do setting aside 216 00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:52,720 whether they believe in strengths or 217 00:07:57,909 --> 00:07:55,280 weaknesses or all those modalities 218 00:08:00,070 --> 00:07:57,919 they're immediately able to say oh well 219 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:00,080 let's talk about where my life is 220 00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:01,759 challenged because that's where my weak 221 00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:03,120 link is so i can get them right to the 222 00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:04,720 heart of the matter 223 00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:06,720 if i were to come into a spiritual kind 224 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:08,000 of setting or a you know 225 00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:10,080 transformational setting 226 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:11,599 there are a couple ways of talking about 227 00:08:17,270 --> 00:08:14,080 it for example if i were working with 228 00:08:19,029 --> 00:08:17,280 people with a monotheistic typically 229 00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:19,039 jewish 230 00:08:24,309 --> 00:08:22,080 islamic or christian orientation we can 231 00:08:26,869 --> 00:08:24,319 lift from jesus's language of looking 232 00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:26,879 for the block in the eye 233 00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:28,319 a whole lot of people have heard that 234 00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:30,160 language they're very comfortable with 235 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:32,640 it and so we can immediately cut to the 236 00:08:35,509 --> 00:08:34,719 chase of let's look for the block in the 237 00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:35,519 eye 238 00:08:40,550 --> 00:08:38,560 if i'm working philosophically 239 00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:40,560 in a transformational setting i might 240 00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:42,640 actually use my language which is seeing 241 00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:43,680 true 242 00:08:47,829 --> 00:08:45,279 and say to people 243 00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:47,839 let's look to see what we might be able 244 00:08:51,350 --> 00:08:49,200 to find 245 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:51,360 that is blocking you off from your 246 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:52,959 highest potential 247 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:54,640 so in a transformational setting in a 248 00:08:59,269 --> 00:08:57,040 philosophical setting that idea of 249 00:09:01,670 --> 00:08:59,279 realizing potential 250 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:01,680 has a whole lot of traction it's the 251 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:04,720 same practice it's the same principle 252 00:09:09,269 --> 00:09:06,800 whether i whether i call it root cause 253 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:09,279 analysis or whether i call it 254 00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:10,880 block in the eye 255 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:13,920 what i know is that the principle is 256 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:15,760 that no matter what 257 00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:17,680 if they can get a good look at it it 258 00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:19,200 becomes solvable 259 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:20,800 and so i just simply use language 260 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:22,320 they're comfortable with because it's 261 00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:24,160 far far easier 262 00:09:27,829 --> 00:09:26,000 to help people by working in language 263 00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:27,839 they're familiar with rather than trying 264 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:28,959 to 265 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:30,320 you know give them a whole new set of 266 00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:32,240 language and the result is we're able to 267 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:34,640 get onto the topic onto the subject 268 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:36,320 tackle the issue at hand and make some 269 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:38,320 real progress because we don't get 270 00:09:41,269 --> 00:09:39,760 caught up in all the translational 271 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:41,279 problems that's a 272 00:09:43,829 --> 00:09:42,320 that's actually a pretty good 273 00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:43,839 description of how you can work in any 274 00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:45,360 number of sectors although i do have to 275 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:48,080 add this because it's an important point 276 00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:50,000 one of the challenges for all of us who 277 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:52,399 work in the world as call us problem 278 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:53,519 solvers 279 00:09:58,150 --> 00:09:56,080 is we get attached to our language 280 00:09:59,110 --> 00:09:58,160 there's a particular way we like to talk 281 00:10:01,110 --> 00:09:59,120 about it 282 00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:01,120 and the mistake we then make is we go 283 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:03,600 around trying to convert people to talk 284 00:10:07,829 --> 00:10:06,160 as we talk believe as we believe and 285 00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:07,839 that just really doesn't work well 286 00:10:11,829 --> 00:10:10,080 because the truth of the matter is 287 00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:11,839 if you set people on a course where 288 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:13,519 you've got to ramp them up on your 289 00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:14,640 language 290 00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:16,880 you're wasting their time because you're 291 00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:18,240 not talking about how they're going to 292 00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:19,600 solve it 293 00:10:23,509 --> 00:10:21,279 so the result is that i've become a deep 294 00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:23,519 pragmatist and tried to learn 295 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:25,600 how to give people things in ways that 296 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:27,760 are instantly digestible for them simply 297 00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:29,920 because it saves them time and 298 00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:31,920 usually a lot of frustration as well 299 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:34,160 it's a practical approach 300 00:10:38,949 --> 00:10:37,200 a personal example is 301 00:10:39,829 --> 00:10:38,959 probably helpful 302 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:39,839 i'll 303 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:42,000 use an example of a woman let's call her 304 00:10:46,069 --> 00:10:44,320 amanda 305 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:46,079 she would not be happy if i used her 306 00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:48,560 real name so i began working with amanda 307 00:10:51,829 --> 00:10:49,920 a while back she had a number of 308 00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:51,839 challenges in her life she came to me 309 00:10:56,069 --> 00:10:53,440 actually sort of through this 310 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:56,079 transformational lens um it wasn't 311 00:10:59,110 --> 00:10:57,760 specifically a spiritual or religious 312 00:11:00,389 --> 00:10:59,120 orientation it certainly wasn't 313 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:00,399 professional 314 00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:02,000 and the problem was that she was 315 00:11:06,630 --> 00:11:04,000 actually suffering a lot of distress and 316 00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:06,640 difficulty in her life 317 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:08,800 a lot of a sense of being overly 318 00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:10,720 responsible 319 00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:11,519 for 320 00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:13,680 both her kids her husband 321 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:16,640 a number of things in the world and she 322 00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:18,720 really was 323 00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:20,800 i mean her life wasn't imploding but 324 00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:23,200 there was a lot of tension as a result 325 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:25,920 and so she needed some relief 326 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:28,240 we did a little bit of talk type work 327 00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:30,160 you know just dialogue 328 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:31,680 eventually though what we ended up 329 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:33,920 settling on was a an approach called 330 00:11:37,269 --> 00:11:35,600 breath work 331 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:37,279 where i mean she was a smart woman so 332 00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:40,480 she knew a lot and as many people have 333 00:11:45,030 --> 00:11:42,560 discovered you can't always get at a 334 00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:45,040 root cause an underlying block 335 00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:47,440 by talking about it because it's not in 336 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:50,399 your thoughts so we used breath work and 337 00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:52,000 so i took her through a series of 338 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:54,000 exercises of using the breath she would 339 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:55,760 close her eyes and breathe 340 00:12:00,150 --> 00:11:57,360 and what we would do is take her out of 341 00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:00,160 her intellect and essentially into the 342 00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:02,079 feelings in the body 343 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:03,120 and 344 00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:05,200 one particular day this was probably 345 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:08,240 four sessions in 346 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:09,600 which by the way a lot of this just 347 00:12:13,269 --> 00:12:11,680 depends on how receptive people are to 348 00:12:14,870 --> 00:12:13,279 whatever they have to work on some 349 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:14,880 people it's a long process some it's 350 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:16,720 very quick so it's about the fourth 351 00:12:20,629 --> 00:12:18,399 session we sat down 352 00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:20,639 and i asked her to close her eyes we 353 00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:22,399 thought of a recent point of distress in 354 00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:24,079 her life 355 00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:26,560 she identified feelings in the pit of 356 00:12:30,629 --> 00:12:28,560 her belly that she described as like 357 00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:30,639 ground glass 358 00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:32,000 so i took her through a breathing 359 00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:34,480 exercise of working through that ground 360 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:35,920 glass 361 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:37,760 and what ended up happening was it 362 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:39,760 literally rose up through her body the 363 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:41,760 feeling it rose up to be tension in her 364 00:12:45,269 --> 00:12:44,399 diaphragm which we breathed with and 365 00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:45,279 through 366 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:47,519 which then moved up to be an ache just 367 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:49,760 at the top of her breast bone 368 00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:51,519 which we breathe through and work 369 00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:52,399 through 370 00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:54,800 and then as it moved it went up to the 371 00:12:58,550 --> 00:12:56,880 tops of her shoulders and was held as 372 00:13:00,470 --> 00:12:58,560 tension she literally could feel her 373 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:00,480 muscles nodding up 374 00:13:03,990 --> 00:13:02,480 at that moment she said it kind of feels 375 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:04,000 like that's where i'm holding the 376 00:13:08,790 --> 00:13:06,720 responsibility for others so we 377 00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:08,800 went when did some more breath work and 378 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:11,360 then a moment later a look passed across 379 00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:12,880 her face and i knew something had 380 00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:15,600 happened so i said so so amanda what was 381 00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:16,480 that 382 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:18,560 she goes it's the most amazing thing 383 00:13:21,350 --> 00:13:20,560 it's like a video in my head and i'm 384 00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:21,360 like 385 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:22,320 cool 386 00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:24,399 what was the video in your head amin 387 00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:26,160 she said well 388 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:29,040 i was probably only six months old and 389 00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:31,120 my mom was holding me in the crook of 390 00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:33,760 her arm and she was surrounded by her 391 00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:36,720 friends and she was showing me off to 392 00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:38,000 her friends 393 00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:39,920 and she said ron i was like a porcelain 394 00:13:43,829 --> 00:13:41,680 doll on display 395 00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:43,839 and she began to tear up and i said so 396 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:46,240 like what's that about she goes whoa 397 00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:48,800 that's the roots of my responsibility my 398 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:51,200 mom was a broken woman 399 00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:54,320 i became the meaning of my mom's life 400 00:13:58,389 --> 00:13:56,399 and i've spent my entire life being 401 00:14:01,110 --> 00:13:58,399 responsible for the well-being of others 402 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:01,120 at my expense 403 00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:03,920 at that moment this look of um i'm 404 00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:06,639 almost a child look child-like look came 405 00:14:10,069 --> 00:14:08,160 to her face 406 00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:10,079 and i asked her what was going on she 407 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:12,639 said well i just relaxed 408 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:16,160 i said that is like really cool and what 409 00:14:20,949 --> 00:14:18,800 that set into motion was essentially 410 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:20,959 this whole new path for how she 411 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:22,720 navigated the world 412 00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:24,880 um she wasn't done with it but what she 413 00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:26,880 had the reason this was particularly 414 00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:28,800 powerful for her as it is for a lot of 415 00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:31,760 us is that what she had was an 416 00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:35,040 experience a physical emotional 417 00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:38,000 psychological experience of what it is 418 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:40,800 to be in a space of okayness 419 00:14:45,189 --> 00:14:42,959 she'd never had the feeling before she 420 00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:45,199 it was new terrain for her 421 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:47,279 but simply by having the experience it 422 00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:50,000 gave her the ability to return to it 423 00:14:54,629 --> 00:14:52,560 over and over and over again 424 00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:54,639 and she's made a tremendous amount of 425 00:14:58,470 --> 00:14:56,480 progress with it in her life and is much 426 00:15:01,189 --> 00:14:58,480 happier as a result so 427 00:15:03,829 --> 00:15:01,199 um the root cause was this 428 00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:03,839 thing when she was six months old that 429 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:06,000 that that produced a profound effect on 430 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:08,800 the uh it imprinted her for life and 431 00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:10,560 needed to be brought into the light and 432 00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:12,959 into you know into the sunshine so that 433 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:14,720 we could get some relief from that 434 00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:16,720 particular shadow it was a it was really 435 00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:18,639 a cool one that she just sort of you 436 00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:21,040 know popped right through it and um that 437 00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:23,360 was really neat to watch 438 00:15:29,509 --> 00:15:27,279 a common question i get is select how do 439 00:15:32,069 --> 00:15:29,519 you do this deal what guides me well i 440 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:32,079 mean any mantra is good for yeah there 441 00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:33,440 are all kinds of great things in the 442 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:34,880 world 443 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:36,880 the one that i have a particular 444 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:39,120 fondness for of late comes from a friend 445 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:41,360 of mine i've stolen it from him 446 00:15:46,389 --> 00:15:43,519 and that is that 447 00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:46,399 we can't do these things alone 448 00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:49,759 but we must do them for ourselves 449 00:15:55,189 --> 00:15:52,839 and that that those two coexist most of 450 00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:55,199 us we're going to have to have some help 451 00:15:59,990 --> 00:15:57,199 because we can't get at things on our 452 00:16:01,829 --> 00:16:00,000 own but in the end 453 00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:01,839 nobody can do it for us we have to do 454 00:16:05,829 --> 00:16:03,759 our own work 455 00:16:09,189 --> 00:16:05,839 and so somehow or another we bring those 456 00:16:10,949 --> 00:16:09,199 two together and a path forms before us 457 00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:10,959 the coolest part about it is is that 458 00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:12,560 every single one of us our paths a 459 00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:13,920 little different 460 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:16,560 we may face common challenges but 461 00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:20,240 but our particular path our soul's work 462 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:21,680 it's going to be unique to each of us 463 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:23,360 because that's the nature of what it is 464 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:26,320 to be an individual soul working its way 465 00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:28,560 through whatever it is we're here for 466 00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:31,360 uh which is pretty neat actually i'm i'm 467 00:16:35,189 --> 00:16:33,360 a i'm a lover of people's stories 468 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:35,199 because of that 469 00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:36,880 a couple of books that might interest 470 00:16:41,910 --> 00:16:39,920 people one is my most recent novel 471 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:41,920 called a killer's grace which is deep 472 00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:44,480 with philosophy and transformation 473 00:16:48,949 --> 00:16:46,160 another is a book 474 00:16:50,949 --> 00:16:48,959 scene true 90 contemplations in 90 days 475 00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:50,959 which is a workbook format spiritual and 476 00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:52,800 orientation both 477 00:16:56,629 --> 00:16:54,880 uh useful materials from my point of 478 00:16:58,870 --> 00:16:56,639 view of course i wrote them so of course 479 00:17:00,389 --> 00:16:58,880 i feel that way you can find out a lot 480 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:00,399 about what i've currently got going on 481 00:17:04,549 --> 00:17:01,680 in this sort of philosophical 482 00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:04,559 transformational space at seeingtrue.com 483 00:17:07,909 --> 00:17:05,600 where i'm 484 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:07,919 blogging and posting videos and all 485 00:17:11,909 --> 00:17:09,839 kinds of content that sort of moves this 486 00:17:14,069 --> 00:17:11,919 conversation forward 487 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:14,079 i have a pivot site kind of what i named 488 00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:16,000 it ronaldchapman.com which kind of 489 00:17:18,549 --> 00:17:17,439 connects you to all the things i got 490 00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:18,559 going on 491 00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:20,240 and some folks may be interested in sort 492 00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:22,559 of the professional component that's 493 00:17:26,789 --> 00:17:24,799 available at a website magnetic north 494 00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:26,799 llc.com 495 00:17:30,470 --> 00:17:28,079 where it'll kind of you know put my 496 00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:30,480 professional photo on there and 497 00:17:33,029 --> 00:17:31,520 you get to kind of look at the 498 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:33,039 professional side of it all those are 499 00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:34,640 useful i'm particularly fond of seeing 500 00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:36,160 true at this point because it seems to 501 00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:37,919 be the body of work i'm spending so much